after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
