Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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