let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
