the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
