I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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