I'm so fucking centered right now
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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