yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
