covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
