is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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