when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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