I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
