so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
