YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
