Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
