i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize