Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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