Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
