Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
