I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Randomize
