she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
