I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
