Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
