I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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