have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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