Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
