maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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