Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
