Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
