hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
