I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
