let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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