No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
