Actions speak louder than pants.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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