Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
