I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
