i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
