He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
