but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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