Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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