Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
3pm strippers are depressing
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
