would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
