Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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