He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
