I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
