rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
