i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
