I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
