Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
