my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Blow job season was short but glorious.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
