im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
