Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm so fucking centered right now
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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