why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
