Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
