Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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