We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
