He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
