There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
